We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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