i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
