yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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