dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
