Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I can tuck mytits in my pants
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
