Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize