her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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