Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize