i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
