ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
