so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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