Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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