I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
