great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
