Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
