So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
