Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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