i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
