the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize