$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
