Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize