How'd it feel making her break her religion?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
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