Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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