take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
