so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
