sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
