im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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