elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
