Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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