I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sext me about skeletons
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
