I need help removing her.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would fuck him just for his dog
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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