If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
