I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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