I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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