i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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