At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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