Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize