i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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