im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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