TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
