Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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