Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
