Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
