dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
