I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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