I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
