Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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