I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
