He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
