toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The uberlube is also flammable
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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