Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
