woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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