Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
