would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
