What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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