Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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