are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
