she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
