Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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