someone get that fucking seahorse.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize