i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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