CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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