If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
