He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
