I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
