She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
