the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
