So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wish I only lived at night.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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