i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
