got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
